eureka 6 response to prof M

Prof M,I just wanted to tell you what a remarkable class this was and I would highly recommend it. The format it was taught in was excellent. I think this class should be a requirement not an elective because it contains facts that are an essential part of life. This has been my favorite class; I took it as an elective and expected to just take a minimal amount of knowledge away from it but the truth is that the facts I’ve learned have helped me realize so much about my every day life. I look at the world a little different now and have already engaged in changing my personal behaviors because I am more conscious of them now. And i can't forget to mention the technological aspect of the class that has taught me about wiki pages and blogs. This is information I can use for future classes and will come in handy. Thanks for everything and have a great summer. I hope I have the pleasure of working with you again sometime in the future.Neeru
June 27, 2009 10:55:00 AM PDT

Eureka 6

My Eureka moment came to me yesterday when I caught wind of a rumor at work that one of my friends was having an affair with a coworker! When I heard the rumor I had to address my friend Karen whom I’ve known for 11 years so I was pretty upfront with her. She was floored when I came right out and said, “So I hear you are getting freaky with James?” She said their was absolutely nothing going on between them and I do believe her. Not that it’s any of my business anyway. What made me stop and think was how our society is so backwards that a woman and man can’t even have lunch together without people jumping to conclusion of their something going on romantically. I know I sated previously that men and women cannot be friends but in some cases they can…some people have the capability. I have gone to lunch with men before and certainly hope there are no rumors about me!
Lastly I wanted to say it was a pleasure meeting all of you and that I enjoyed sharing my deepest thoughts with all of you.
Prof. M- This was an excellent, excellent class and I would highly recommend it. I planned on taking this class just to fill an elective and look at what you have accomplished. All that I have learned over the past six weeks will stay with me for a life time.

response to Sarah - Week #5

Hi Sarah,
Your right, I saw that movie a while back and never thought about it like that. Many people still do believe that joining the army will prove that you are a man because you are willing to put your life on the line for others and fight for your country. The media, movies, TV, radio, magazines just keeps on pumping society with these gender norms and there seems to be no hiding and no escape. I also get exactly what you are saying about 30 year old men still living at home. I think it’s a huge difference in the mentality of the generation. I think the newer generations just don’t want to work as hard and just want to be spoon fed but all the underlying gender norms are still there. You might be onto something with men losing sight to manhood causing them to feel a need for a movement. Another major role for men was to be the primary bread makers but now in today’s time most woman are bringing home a paycheck to right alongside their men so maybe they need to prove that they still are manly men.

Eureka #5

It’s already time for Eureka #5!! Boy time is flying by…well I had a couple of Eureka’s this week and the one that stuck out the most was the baby shower I went to over the weekend. The baby shower was for the birth of twin girls. As I sat in the back and watched the mother open all her gifts it struck me. What is up with the gender norm of dressing twins alike? Every box she opened had an identical set of the same outfit. I know I always thought it would be cute to dress twins alike but when I had my twins they were opposite sexes so I never had the chance to do so. What are we teaching those kids by dressing them alike as soon as they are born? Then one of the gift boxes she opened was a set of three bibs; one said hottie, the next said babe, and the third said sexy. All the guest were chuckling over the bibs they thought it was the cutest thing they ever seen. Meanwhile I’m just appalled at the gender norms at such an early age to be teaching these innocent kids these words? I will never buy anything with that kind of language written on it. I think those ladies need to take this class!

Week #4 response to Mario

Hi Mario,

I can’t agree with you more regarding school work, work, and family work. I’m exhausted. Why is life so exhausting? Why do I want more? Anyway that’s a topic for another day… You know from my previous blogs that this class has been an eye opener for me and that I am really starting to analyze my actions. To my surprise I totally fit the gender norms society has binded us to and through my actions I have been encouraging them. I think about how I have been treated at work and the pet names the men walk around here calling woman and they think there is nothing wrong with it. I see the woman managers here being tougher on their staff to prove a point to the male managers. I have a daughter to who is 3 years old and I hope society gets a wake up call prior to her entering the work force.

Week #4 response to Chris

Hi Chris,

I can’t believe what I’m reading. I unfortunately don’t have much time to keep up with television or the news. I always knew there was some pay discrimination but not like this. It’s sad to really step back and look at the inequality between men and women in our society. I think it’s a great idea that women and men join forces to conquer the unfairness between genders. What gets me is that before this class most of us didn’t even care or realize what was going on right under our noses for our entire lives.

Week #4 response to Sarah

Hi Sarah,

I couldn’t agree with you more. My blog and DB post this week pretty much said the same thing. I don’t think men and women can be friends without one of them having an emotional connection or sexual connection with the other. I think that even if the issue is addressed it is hard for people to try and control their emotions. And if I meet someone and I tell them I’m married I shouldn’t have to say anything else, they should automatically know that I am not interested in anything more than a platonic friendship. I have had a few male friendships go sour where I had to just end the friendship all together because it would end up hurting him or me in the end. I had a guy that I was friends with that wound up going thru a divorce and venting to me daily and in the end confessed his love for me to me? I was like, “WHAT”? I’m happily married, I have 2 kids…I’m not looking for anything. I give the people that have opposite sex friendships a lot of credit.

Week #4 Eureka

Hi everyone, its Eureka time again. I’ve been on such an honest streak so why not continue. This week’s reading dealt with opposite sex friendship and although I responded on the DB I kept that on target with the text book. I’m using this blog to put my real life experiences out for everyone to read. So here goes...I am not going to criticize everyone that has had or held an opposite sex friendship but for me personally it does not work. I had a couple of close opposite sex friendships that all ended in the same manner…either I wound up liking them or they wound up liking me. It just wound up being a bad situation. My last male friendship was with a male at my work. We had a lot in common and enjoyed joking around during the day. He was someone that I was not attracted to in a sexual manner. We were friends for about a year when he started having marital problems and began venting to me about his wife. Being a woman naturally I was a good listener and consoler. He eventually expressed his love for me and I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what to say or do. I transferred departments shortly after to move away from him. I still talk to him but in a very limited fashion. Since then I have not thought about having a male friendship with anyone. I will give anyone a chance because I’m too afraid. For so many years I felt so bad and guilty and was relieved to find out from our text that the feelings were only natural due to gender norms. Since my encounter I no longer pursue or encourage opposite sex friendships because I just don’t see it as a possibility. Everything seems to start out ok but the more you share the closer you get and then you become vulnerable.

Response to Ilia Eureka week #3

Hi,This story is so horrible that I just don’t want to believe it. I never watch the news, have no clue what’s going on in this world. The news is just too depressing and upsetting and when I have a few minutes to watch TV I rather watch something light and funny. What is wrong with this guy that he sexually assaulted an 11 year old girl? There are so many sick people out there. I agree that he probably felt inferior to her since he was so much bigger than her. The legal definition of rape is so wrong, what was that written in 1950? I can’t believe if a man or woman who is forced to have sex with another man is not considered rape? I agree that when anyone is forced to have sexual relations with anyone else it is definitely rape. I know my kids are never leaving the house. It's a shame to think of society as such a horrible place.
June 6, 2009 7:12 PM

Week #2 response Prof M.

Hi Prof M,
I can completely relate to your post! I have twin 3 year old toddlers, a son and a daughter. It is very interesting to watch the interaction between them and the toys they choose to play with. I do not stop my daughter or son from playing with gender specific toys; I just don’t feel it is the right thing to do. In an earlier blog I even mentioned that I will put nail polish on my son. My husband however feels like the kids should only play with gender specific toys and frowns when I allow my son to cross the line in his eyes. Just yesterday my mother brought my daughter a boat load of hello kitty jewelry and my son was standing right in line to get his fair share. He spent the day walking around with clips in his hair and clip on earrings. Although I have not stopped him I have thought…will this make it gay? Then I thought I was being ridiculous. I think if gender expectations were not defined for children they would without a doubt engage in opposite gender professions, education, and activities. Relaxing these gender norms would change the way we operate as a society and maybe create more of a balance between male and female gender roles. Think back decades ago when the gender role for females was to stay at home and take care of the house and children while the man went out to earn a living. Now in today’s day most woman earn a living, take care of the house and kids.
May 29, 2009 3:16:00 PM PDT

Eureka #3 - I'm a hypocrite

I’m sitting here thinking and thinking about what my Eureka moment should be this week. My first thought was the sexual portrayal of woman on a couple VH1 dating shows but I saw that someone has already touched base on that. Then it just hit me out of nowhere! Here I feel like a bit of a hypocrite. I am a landlord and recently evicted my tenant for not paying her rent. Whenever there is a new tenant moving in we must apply for a renter’s certificate of occupancy from the Township. The Township comes out and walks throughout the unit to ensure it is safe, clean, and up to code for the future tenants. Lately with this unit the Township has been nit picking on the smallest cosmetic things which we feel is unnecessary to be fixed or changed. I have no problem fixing things that are unsafe or not up to code. My husband never has any luck with these guys and walks away with a 3 page list of items that need to be taken care of prior to the new tenant occupying the unit. This time we decided that I would meet the Township for the inspection instead of my husband because I am an attractive woman and may be let off easier. Well I took off Monday and met Kenny from the Township at the property for the inspection and it went extremely well. Kenny let me off the hook so to speak with many cosmetic repairs. Maybe it was luck that he was allot nicer than the other inspectors that have come out in previous years or maybe it was the fact that I was a pretty girl in a dress? I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, especially after this weeks reading assignment!

week #2

After reading the assigned chapters it dawned on me that there is a particular guy at work using locker room language with only the woman at the office. It’s a guy in our IT department who takes help desk calls and fixes any technical problems with our computers. I called the help desk yesterday because my computer froze and the gentlemen came over to take a look at it and the first thing he says to me is, “Hello darling.” He took a seat in my chair to work on my computer and a few minutes later addressed me as “sweet heart.” There were several other people around since I don’t have an office, just a cubicle. L He addresses all women like this so I assume this is his norm behavior. I realized that this was a form of locker room language as our text put it. As he was working on my computer I thought why is it that he feels he can call woman by these pet names? Does he think we like it I thought? I can only assume that no one has confronted him about this and I didn’t have the nerve to either. It actually never bothered me before because I never “read” into the comments…until I read the text! After reading the text I come to the conclusion that I don’t appreciate this kind of talk anymore because it puts women down and gives the impression that we are passive. Now I pick up on everything that is being done and said around me at work, at school, at home. :)

Hi

Hi everyone,

Just testing out my blog.